The Only Way is Essex-Mario sets the record straight

On last night’s TOWIE Mario, who bumped into ex Peri on the street, told her he head heard that she said he was only with Lucy to be the top boy in Essex, ‘It’s not true’, he said. ‘I chased Lucy for a year. It’s none of your business. You seem to be a bit bitter. Why would I pick you over Lucy?’

Peri was appalled by Mario’s comments and asked him who he thought he was speaking to her like that. ‘Do one’, said Mario.

At Joey’s pool party, Gemma told Mario he was out of order saying that to Peru as no-one wants to hear someone is prettier than them. She proceeded to tell Lucy and Mario that they need to grow up and she has had enough of listening to it.

Also on last night’s episode:

• Maria told best mate Lauren Pope it’s been the worst week of her life because of the vicious rumours about her working as an escort, when it was a promo trip to Dubai. She said she felt embarrassed and was having to confirm to her family it wasn’t true. And when Lauren asked her about Mick she said he hadn’t spoken or text her.

However Mick implied to son Kirk that wasn’t the reason why he was ignoring Maria, but because he had heard she had been seeing another guy. ‘I don’t want to be messed around anymore’, he said, before claiming that he needs to listen to his son’s advice more.

The Only Way is Essex-Mick and Maria's first date causes Gemma's jealousy

Mick and Maria went on their first date on last night’s The Only Way is Essex.

Despite Mick having to play ‘teacher’ at dinner and explain to Maria where Chile is and that we have a coalition Government, the pair both said they fancied each other and agreed to go on another date.

However, Gemma wasn’t too happy when she got hold of the news that Mick and Maria are dating.

When Lauren Pope told Gemma that Maria and Mick were out on a date, Gemma first of all thought she was joking and then told her she was a bit pissed off about it. ‘What a bitch’, she said referring to Maria.

Lauren Pope replied, ‘But it was you that set them up?’ ‘I thought they wouldn’t get on’, said Gemma. ‘That’s back-fired a bit then’, replied Popey.

‘If they (Maria and Mick) get married I’ll pelt them with eggs’, claimed Gemma, who a week ago exclaimed she was over Mick?

Also on last night’s episode

• Sam and Joey met for a drink to discuss their failed relationship and clear the air. Joey told Sam he couldn’t understand why she broke up with him. Sam told him things were moving too fast and it was just wrong timing. Joey replied that he still loved her, while Sam told him to stop as it made it harder through tears. The pair hugged and Sam left. Not sure that cleared the air?

The Only Way is Essex-Mick and Maria to marry?

Gemma’s wish to match-make the whole of Essex and rid the county of all singletons may be on the way to coming true, as lock and key couple (singles date night) Mick and Maria arranged to go for a drink on last night’s episode.

Mick asked Maria out on a date during Lauren Pope’s paintballing party, despite worries that it would cause trouble with his son Kirk, who in the past had a few run-ins with Maria over former girlfriend Lauren.

‘I think too much about Kirk. Kirk has to get over that stuff’, he said.

And wanting to clear the air herself, Maria decided to have a word with Kirk minus paintball guns. After telling him about the date with his dad, Kirk told her he thought it was weird as she is younger than his brother. However, Maria replied that she is older than him.

‘I prefer my dad to be with a woman with kids and life-experience’, admitted Kirk.

‘I’m just looking out for my dad. As long as you make him smile. I’m fed up with arguing.’

‘There might be a wedding’, said Maria. ‘Shut up’, replied Kirk.

But just as a potential relationship is starting, another may be coming to an end, as Mark gets involved in Lucy and new boyfriend Mario’s love life, even after agreeing to stay away from Lucy to Mario when they bumped into each other at the gym.

Mario told Mr Wright that he has given Lucy rules-not to speak to Mark or any of his family, and that he doesn’t have a problem with him.

‘I want you to respect the fact I’m with Lucy. I’m not going to lie, I asked her not to talk to you in a club.’

Mark replied, ‘You don’t need to feel threatened. You need to talk to her (Lucy) and get her not to talk to me. Anything you want to know ask me.’

However, Mark changed his tune after seeing Lucy in his flat modelling his sister Jess’ underwear ahead of the launch of her lingerie store.

‘You look smoking by the way’, said Mark as he stood in the doorway to his flat, while Lucy was mortified.

Perhaps Mark should take his dad’s advice, Mark senior, who for his first ever appearance on the show, told him he needed to ‘go out with the boys and see different girls-not from the same group.’

‘I’m sick of this, so is the whole family’, he told Mark Jr after he asked his dad whether he was handling the break-up in the right way.

His dad told him he had messed up Lauren’s life and now she has messed up his.

‘Make me proud’, he said.

Also on last night’s TOWIE

• Arg started his new job as a DJ on hospital radio, but he didn’t make a great impression after talking about the girls in Marbs. His boss told him that’s not what recovering 80-year-olds want to hear. He also said that Arg was more like Christopher Robin than Chris Moyles or Evans.
• Joey announced to his sister Frankie that he is ready to move out and get his own place. However when Frankie talked about what bills he would have to pay he was clueless, not even knowing you have to pay TV licence or for water.
• Sam and Joey agreed to meet up and talk to clear the air so it isn’t as awkward when they see each other out.

The Only Way is Essex-Mark gatecrashes a date and the reason why he and Lauren broke-up

 Feeling lonely with his takeaway pizza and night alone in front of the tele, a heartbroken Mr Wright decided to go and join his best mater Arg on a romantic date with girlfriend Lydia on last night’s episode. Clearly Mark hadn’t heard three’s a crowd, as he sat with the pair, who had been enjoying desert. While Arg chatter away to Mark, Lydia didn’t seem exactly thrilled by his presence and gave it to him straight about his failed relationship with Lauren, who at the time was at Gemma’s single event, a lock and key night.

However, Mark lost all sympathy when, earlier in the day, Lauren’s sister had a run in with Lucy, one of Mark’s exes, and implied she was responsible for Mark and Lauren’s break-up because of what happened in Marbella? Lauren’s sister thanked Lucy, who was out with boyfriend Mario, for getting Lauren away from Mark, but told her she owed her sister an apology. Lucy replied that she would never apologise to Lauren and from now on will keep her distance as they (Lucy and Lauren) can never be friends.

Also, on last night’s episode.

• Lydia, her mum Debbie and Joey, tried their hand at selling at a carboot sale only to fail and make a £6 profit. Not a great start ahead of opening a cake shop Lydia. At the car boot Lydia also found Joey a pair of vintage Levi’s, a size too small, which he later wore to the singles night only to be accused by a girl of touching his crotch every two seconds.
• Mark went to a yoga class full of women and nearly ended up breaking his 14 nights of celibacy.
• Harry dressed as cupid for the singles night. He revealed to his mate that his ideal man would be the total opposite of him, not blond, not orange, but have a nice tan, more fun than him and hunky.
• Gemma and Arg worked out with Dino, but were put to same by runner buddies and boyfriend and girlfriend Mario and Lucy.
• Arg revealed at dinner to Lydia that he wants a change of career, and thinks he would be good as a radio DJ.
• Dino and Georgio aren’t having much luck with the ladies, mainly due to being vertically challenged.
• Lauren Pope gained joint custody of her and Kirk’s dog Bozo, but Kirk wanted Lauren back.
• Kirk is to help his dad Mick with his new hotel.

The Only Way is Essex-Mick ditches Gemma

Gemma was left in tears on last night's episode as Mick took a bottle of champagne over to Lauren’s sister, Nicola, rather than her. Hours earlier Mick had told son Kirk that he had bought the champagne for the lady he fancies, but wouldn’t tell him who it was. Kirk presumed he was talking about Gemma and even gave her his blessing, but did later say to his girlfriend Popey, when he saw Gemma crying, that his dad hadn’t led her on.

Gemma, who has made it very clear to the whole of Essex her feelings for Mick, had a quick cry and told friends Chloe and Maria she was over it. She said that she needed to toughen up as she wears her heart on her sleeve and always gets hurt. She also confessed that she would never speak to Mick again.

But will Gemma be able to get over Mick as quickly as she claims? After telling friends in the past that she wants to marry him and have his babies, and Mick is her dream man, Although it appears Chloe thinks Gemma has had a lucky escape, as she said earlier in the episode that she couldn’t understand why a 29-year-old would want to be with someone so much older?

The Only Way is Essex- Arg hearts Amy??

Sam told Amy last night that she thinks Arg fancies her? Amy reacted  by saying she didn’t feel the same and when she gave him an inch loss treatment at her salon earlier in the day she couldn’t even find his willy. Whereas Arg seemed more interested in looking at Amy’s breast while she wrapped him in cling film.

Even Lydia told her mum Debbie before the Ream party that she suspects Amy has a soft spot for James. Debbie said she thought she liked him as a friend. Lydia said that she hoped so as she isn’t completely over him yet. ‘I don’t think James is her type’, replied Debbie.

Meanwhile, Kirk proved his love for Lauren, Popey, by asking her to move in with him. The Sugar Hut manager took Lauren on a rowing boat on the river where he directed a remote control boat to her containing a jewellery box with a key. She seemed relieved it wasn’t an engagement ring, and agreed to move in with him. Although Maria didn’t seem too pleased and warned her not to get trapped. She told her she thought it was sad her and Kirk aren’t friends. Lauren replied there will become a point when you become friends, but it will take time. However, Kirk appeared to have other ideas as he reminded Lauren that Maria would not be welcome in his home. ‘Our home’, reminded Lauren.

Also on last night’s episode, Gemma continued with her attempt to woo Mick, which failed miserably. The BMW sales woman baked the club owner an apple pie, which she left outside his home with a note. The note said to enjoy the apple pie, but she forgot one crucial thing to say who it was from. Mick guessed wrongly that it was Chloe and thanked her for her efforts, but Chloe told him straight it wasn’t from her and warned him not to eat food left outside his home as he doesn’t know what’s in it. Mick replied that he enjoyed it and is ok.Gemma overheard their conversation and set the record straight, telling Mick she had baked the pie as she wanted to look after him and let him know how she feels about him without snogging his face off. ‘Did you enjoy it’ she said. Mick nodded and said thank you, probably not the response Gemma was looking for?

The Only Way is Essex- Mark gets ‘well jeal’ of Joey

 Joey proved he really is the new Mark Wright in business with the success of his first Ream Party at the Sugar Hut on last night’s episode.

Mr Essex even chose Mark’s sister Jess to be the face of the parties, what a way to rub Mark up the wrong way.

Sitting at a table in the club, Arg asked Mark if he missed it (club promoting). ‘What do you think’, replied Mark. Arg told him Joey was stealing his job and warned he might not be able to catch up with him, saying that Mark had gone into early retirement. Mark replied that he might have had six weeks with a ring on his finger, but it doesn’t mean anyone has seen the last of him.

Lauren echoed Arg’s thoughts, telling club owner Mick that Joey is competition for her fiancée, while Sam’s sister Billie said to Mark, ‘That used to be you didn’t it?’ Mark made some comment that Joey is taking his job and stealing his exes, but reminded Billie that it is only Joey’s first night.

However, a worried Mark left the Sugar Hut early with Lauren and told her they would be seeing him very soon and he’s back on the scene.

The Only Way is Essex- Kirk's fairground birthday party

Normal 23-year-olds would go out to a couple of bars and maybe a club on their birthday, but this is Essex and the bigger the better for Kirk, who decided on hosting a fairground/circus themed party at his home, complete with rides, fairground games and fortune telling, courtesy of Gemma, who offered up her talent for the good of the party.

Although Gemma wasn't too happy when she learnt that Kirk's dad Mick, had invited Chloe to the party with him, exactly what Chloe was concerned about when Mick popped to her house and asked her to come to his son's party. Chloe had told Joey, who she was teaching how to cook spaghetti bolognese for Sam, that she felt awkward going with Mick as he is Gemma's dream man. But Joey reminded her that Mick hadn't said it was a date.

However, Gemma managed to get her own back when Chloe asked for her cards to be read.
'There's no immediate romance, but interest around you', she told Chloe, who asked if she was talking about Mick?
'You'll have fun with Mich, but there's no longevity to it', said Gemma.

Afterwards Chloe sat down with Mick, who said he had enjoyed getting to know her more. He told her that when he found out she was a mum it gave him another perspective on her and it's something else they have in common. Chloe said that being a young mum had changed her as she used to be a rascal as a kid.

The party ended on a high note (?), with Mark streaking across the garden. His antics were part of a bet he lost to Arg and Amy, who they had played doubles tennis with during the day. Arg and Amy, who is the under fourteen's table tennis champion, only beat Mark and Lauren by one point when the tennis ball got lodged into Lauren's racket. The pair said it was unfair, but Mark told Lauren he couldn't pass up on a bet. Lauren said he was an embarrassment, but it cheered James right up.

The Only Way is Essex- Sam and Joey's second date

Sam took Joey on an 'adventure' of her own on last night's episode.The blonde shop owner called Joey, who answered his phone 'Yo, Yo it's Joe', to ask if he wanted to go glamping for their second date. 'What's that', he said. 'It's camping but glamorous like us', she said. 'We sharing the same tent?', he said. 'Yes'. 'The same sleeping bag?' 'If you're lucky', said Sam.

Joey made sure he packed all of his camping essentials, a hairdryer, portable fridge and a boomerang?
He picked Sam up in his tiny white Fiat, wearing orange Ugg boots and skin tight jeans, which Sam said looked liked leggings.

But Joey got a surprise when they went to collect Amy, Harry and Gemma to go glamping with them. 'He's well Jeal', said Sam. 'As long as Sam and I have one tent', he said.

The group set up camp in an open spot in the woods full of stinging nettles, but came into problems when they realised there were no toilets, a shower block, and more importantly electricity. 'Where will I plug in my hairdryer and fridge?', said Joey after claiming he could hear monkeys in the distance. 'Plug them into a tree', joked Harry.

The Mark Wright wannabee tried to redeem himself by volunteering to make a toilet for the girls and Harry. While Sam, Amy, who was dressed in a blue cocktail dress, and Gemma put up their marquee, the boys struggled to dig a 2cm hole with sticks,and gave up after Harry got a splinter.

When they returned to camp, Sam made Joey put up all of the pop-up tents and make a 'BBQ'. Around the fire the group talked about their fears. Gemma said hers is never getting married and wished Mick, Kirk's dad, would walk out of the woods and impregnant her. 'How do you spell impregnant', said Amy? Joey said he uses the sentence 'Big Elephants Can't Always Use Same Exits' to help him.
'I think you're a bit dyslexic', says Sam. 'I was as a kid but not now', he says. 'Anyway alot of clever people have it like Einstein.'

Joey then took Sam for a walk into the woods where he asked her if she would be her girlfriend. 'On one condition', she said. 'As long as you never wear those orange boots again.' He agreed.

Joey's luck was also up earlier in the week as he met Kirk and his dad to discuss about working with them and doing club nights. He boasted how well he has done with clubs in London and suggested they hold 'Ream' parties and he be the face of one of their nights. Amazingly Kirk and Mick seemed to like the idea.

More to follow....