The Only Way is Essex- Mark proves his love for Lauren

Mark got in touch with his feminine side last night as he tearily spoke of his love for Lauren in front of all his family and friends.

The purpose of his speech at their engagement party, he said, was to prove to everyone that he’s serious about Lauren and to get their support.

However, moments earlier Mark had told Sam she will always be special to him, and he still has feelings for her. ‘It’s hard for me to say for you to let me go’, he said. ‘But I’m moving on now. You’re more special than any of the other girls I’ve seen. But I don’t want to tell you to wait for me in case Lauren and I break up, as I know you won’t do that anyway.’

To make matters worse, Mark had also met with Sam in the day for what he called a ‘business meeting’. Mark asked his ex whether she would be interested in working for him and heading up the glamour side of his model agency. Sam seemed surprised by his proposal and asked if he’d discussed it with Lauren. ‘She’ll have to get over it and trust me’, he replied. Sam said she would think about it.

Of course, the idea went down like a lead balloon with Lauren, who heard the news that Mark and Sam had met for lunch from Amy’s assistant Paloma while she was having her nails done. Lauren confronted Mark over the phone, and told him he had been dishonest. ‘You don’t go and meet a girl’, she said. ‘That’s how gossip starts.’ Mark explained he had asked Sam as she has glamour modelling experience. But then quickly reversed on his decision. ‘Did you invite her to our engagement party’, she said. Mark confessed he had suggested she come. Lauren replied, ‘I don’t know if I am coming yet. I can’t be bothered.’

It’s no wonder then that Mark’s family still don’t believe the wedding will happen. ‘I’ll believe it when I see them walk down the aisle’, Jess told her mum, family friend and Nanny Pat.

At least Mark can always rely on best mate Arg, who he enjoyed a pamper session with, and arrived at the party with on separate white horses. ‘I didn’t realise it was a gay wedding’, said Harry.

The Only Way is Essex-Stop picking on Arg

Poor James, it wasn’t just Mark, Lydia and her mum making fun of him about his weight on last night’s episode, but the whole slimming class when he read out his food diary outloud to the all female group.

After listing his days food, breakfast- a fry up, lunch- Nanny Pat’s macaroons, dinner -a steak and onion baguette, rack of ribs, sticky toffee pudding and tea and biscuits before bed, Ellie of Ellie’s slimming class told him ‘The problem is clear. From now on you can only eat chicken and salad and drink water or rose wine.’

‘No carbs before Marbs (Marbella)’ she chanted, the group’s catchphrase.

When James got home he was interrogated further by Lydia’s mum, who said she’s worried about the close relationship he has with Mark and suggested the pair sit down to discuss their sexuality. ‘I’ve seen it before’, said Lyd’s mum, ‘men getting married, having kids then realising they are gay.’ ‘I’m not gay’ James told her.

Meanwhile, Amy’s new assistant Paloma was transformed into an Amy Charles mini-me. On went the fake tan, false eyelashes, make-up and a push up bra. ‘You look like sisters’ Harry shrieked to Amy’s delight.

Paloma’s first client was flirtatious Joey Essex, who had a spray tan. ‘I go really brown in the sun’, he told the girls. ‘I think I have a bit of Spanish in me?’ ‘Do you’, said Amy. ‘No’, replied Joey. ‘Do you know any Spanish’, said Amy. ‘Yeah’, replied Joey. ‘Ula’. The girls laughed, ‘You mean Ola’, said Paloma?

Then Amy told Joey that she has some Irish in her and admitted she only just realised Ireland is a different country to England.’

Joey’s second attempt at the swing party to impress the Essex ladies didn’t go down much better. Lucy once again refused a date with the club promoter, telling Joey she wants a man not a boy and to get back to her once he’s decided he is his own man and not a carbon copy of Mark Wright. Sam also turned him down after he feed her some very chessey lines. ‘You’ve got to try harder than that’, she said.

Meanwhile, Joey’s cousin Chloe revealed to interested Kirk she has a daughter and seven years ago was fat, flat chested and blonde until a holiday to Marbella changed her.

The same evening, Lauren held a dinner party to win over Mark’s family, but Mark’s mum, sister Jess and Nanny Pat didn’t seem convinced the pair can really make a go of it, especially after Mark left before pudding to go and see Arg sing at the party, just to prove to Kirk he’s not under the thumb now he’s engaged.